The Five Thousand Pound Gorilla 

  I am going to talk about that Gorilla sitting in your front yard, looking thru the living room window. The face looks familiar because you are related to it, that’s right coming into view now it is your parent. Although, much older and not so quick to go have that game of catch with, there is still a great family need, the fact is the need is now in reverse they need you. Just to go to the hardware store together may result in four to five emergency restroom stops. A nice dinner out may result in a major catastrophe just due to uncontrollable bowel syndrome, 65% percent of people over 70 years of age. The thing is no matter what your family was or is like in terms of its dynamics all families change and evolve. There are crossroads for all of us. I personally am a caregiver fulltime for my last living parent, my Mother age 85.

  I have changed my career to work from home, a financial disaster. I have lost a wife that just was not tuff enough to hang, and it is understandable. Yet I am the first to say that no matter what as long as she lives I will be here for her, no nursng home or elderly care facility for my parent. This is not to say that this is right, in fact from experience I can tell you if you do not believe this way DO NOT DO THIS, and do not feel guilty. Understand that the same intuition that raised us and knew when we were stretching the truth is still there and now there feelings are located on their sleeves because at every turn they are constantly faced with a new obstacle due to their aging body or mind. So if you are not willing to stop your life and career plan as you know it don’t look for the best care facilities or find after long interviews the right person to be your parents caregiver. Because in modern times advanced medicines they will live 20% longer then any of the last 5 generations. Experts predict we are heading towards an eldercare crisis in this country. By the year 2020 one fifth of the U.S. population will be over the age of 65. Finding appropriate eldercare for our parents, grandparents and other loved ones when they need it may prove to be the biggest challenge for families in the future.

   So face it and face it as soon as possible. Have a plan; this was certainly my biggest mistake. I have always felt this way because of a situation I witnessed when I was young. I had a paper route that delivered to a nursing home. The smell, and the abuse I saw as a teenager effected me adversely for life.. By no means are all facilities like that. There are some I hope when my day comes I am lucky enough to be a resident at. Yet I can not bring myself to have someone take care of my mother while I am still alive. I feel for my parent as if it was my child needing me. This is not for everyone. But if the latter applies to you, talk about it now, not after your parent has fallen and broken their hip. Rehab turns into years of disability as their quality of life disintegrates in front of your eyes.

  Seek out professional advice, act you age as an adult and do not procrastinate. After all we are all just a broken refrigerator away from mortgage default right now so a plan is the first right step. Most importantly talk with your parents. Get past the pride and lead them to a reality discussion as you prepare to eventually switch roles as the child becomes the parent of the parent.  There are support groups and if you do not seek reference material you are like the man representing himself in court a “Fool for a Client”.   

  Up until the last century elders have been held with the highest esteem in societies, the most respect, the best advisors. We have allowed that to become the greatest lost of these modern times the lack of regard to the elderly. Rosalyn Carter said it best: “There are only four kinds of people in the world – those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers”. Caregivers are needed for family members of all ages. With appropriate information and support, family caregivers can help their loved ones across the lifespan. Whether it is a caregiving individual or institution find what is right for them and you. It must be something that both can agree on. It may even be a combination of the both. Use all the resources you can find. My Mother is under the weather right now but I have found a Senior Daycare center that is very active and full of people that really are sharing each others time in a great quality way. This may allow me to get out more during the day and chase down better ways of making money. Because I did not plan well I only had good intentions so I am working under the stress of day to day. Not a good thing but still not a bad thing, as long as I can hold up. The truth to that situation lays in the statistics: Care giving does not cause depression, nor will everyone who provides care experience the negative feelings that go with depression. But in an effort to provide the best possible care for a family member or friend, caregivers often sacrifice their own physical and emotional needs and the emotional and physical experiences involved with providing care can strain even the most capable person. The resulting feelings  of anger, anxiety, sadness, isolation, exhaustion—and then guilt for having these feelings—can exact a heavy toll. The better the plan the better you will manage and control the situation to help it be the best of times.

  I have to say this in summary, if you face reality like an adult, make a plan and then be committed to that plan. It can be the most rewarding experience for you and your family member.  Yes it can be difficult even with a plan but it can also be the best times to really get to know the history of your family. Understand the past and how to use that information to improve your present. They are your family and they share love and knowledge with you that a college or corporation can never provide.  Difficult perhaps but so were you to them when you came along into this world, as your children probably provided you with difficult times. You certainly did not turn your back on your children, well remember your children are watching you still to see how you handle Grandma and Grandpa you could be writing your own plan without realizing it. Karma returns back for our good deeds as well as our bad ones. Hug your parent this week and celebrate with me the “Age-related macular degeneration (AMD) Awareness month”   March 2010 as decreed by the President in January of 2010.

Here is some reference sites:

National Family Caregivers Association

Stuck in the Middle: A tip guide for caregivers

This is Tom from Ispreadyourmessage.com with some great tips for life and the answer to a big question such as; should I use a dating service to help my pathetic social life?

Lol, well if you are like me not satisfied with cruising bars and clubs, and grocery stores. Then this could be your next step to trying to find the right person to spend time with. Even for those of us who were already in a life long relationship but recently found out your partner felt you had lived longer then she was prepared to stay then this could be for you.

I know you are saying; Right I am not that desperate! Well lets see how desperate you are, do you go to a bar with the fantasy that someone will come up to you and be interested in a long term relationship, that person would also happen to like the outdoors, football on Sundays and plays golf. They are also financially solvent and would like to tell you everything about themselves that would not include a domestic violence history, terrorist activity and a few arrests. Sure that person is there waiting for you @ Flagler Tavern yeah right! That is my point you meet these people and they may look nice, but you do not know anything about them. Not just that they may have a history that would make you feel uncomfortable with, but also what makes you think that by chance you two are actually compatible. That you have the same belief values, or that you want a family, or that you do not want a family. In fact all those very critical issues would not be discovered until a month or two of serious dating. Then when you find out that it is not possible to spend any more time then is necessary with this chance person you have met, but it will take at least another couple of attempts to end it and by now you are out the money and time from your life you can never recover. So you just wasted two months of your life and maybe the cost of a restraining order to discover that person of chance was just that you taking your chances. So who is desperate?

Thus my point dating services can be great for people who have discovered that life is better with a partner. If that is not you please do not let me interrupt you any longer go back to looking for overnight dates here on the internet, I wish you luck. Oh by the way I was told today that 50% of internet dating service members are married, 25% Are not who they say they are, in fact only 10% of all those member profiles actually close enough to normal to actually consider. But have at that if you like those odds. I am discussing real dating service, has an established business history like Great Expectations. They have been in business before Al Gore created the internet. 30 years of putting the right people together safely. They SCREEN their members, background checks, criminal checks, financial checks. They have a   psychological interview establishing the commitment of the person wanting to be a member. They do the first two months of bad dating for you, without you losing your dignity!  Think about it, you can meet people that you already have established that you have a lot in common with, same interests, same wants or you can keep cruising that per chance that guy you just met last night has an uncanny resemblance to the guy on Channel 13 just escaped from Seminole county jail. Really why take the risk if you are serious about your relationships.

First tip Zoosk and Ashley Madison and other internet sites that you run across are very good. That is if you own these sites you would be making anywhere from $9.99 to $24.95 from 5000 suckers per day. If you are one of those suckers signing up seriously you would get more honesty by reviewing registered sex offender profiles living in your area. If it advertises that women are waiting for men over 40 take it from my real life experiences women are not sitting around waiting for you to sign up. Remember the one you just sent a flirt note to is actually a male 60 year old that gets off pretending to be a women on line, so go ahead share your inner feeling with him/her it should all turn out.

All I am saying is desperate is relative to what you want. I think it is very desperate to take a chance on something as important as your heart and life time partner. If there was a way to get a real start, and nothing standing in your way but you? Not unknown baggage. Why would you not do this? Here is why it is great that Great Expectations rejected me today. It is proof there system works. I have know idea what I want, or what I am prepared to commit to after my last disaster of a marriage. I have trust issues right now with potential partners, so not the right time, and they saw that.

If you are interested in being serious go to their site I recommend it. Fill out the quick questionnaire and a real person will call you and set an appointment for you to meet with the counselor I was called by Kimberly, she was extremely nice and listened carefully. She was upbeat and made me feel like I just made the first good decision about relationships in years. She was right, I have learned a lot in the past few days as this developed. I went in this morning for the “Interview”. Let’s talk about that for a minute. It was great it was honest and one of the best conversations I have had in years when it came to the subject of relationships. Side note to Great Expectations, it is very hard to remember that you came looking for a person to have a relationship with when you provide an interviewer, Sophie, that is the perfect women. A little hard to stay focused, she was drop dead beautiful, highly intelligent and was able to communicate and made you feel like you were special. Who wants to meet anyone after meeting her, but the idea is she evaluating you for the established membership. They wish to help you but first you must pass the muster for the sake of the established members. They do not want people joining that are not currently good partner material. As it turns out I am not but that means they really know their business and you could contact them with confidence. If they have you become a member. Your odds of having the right lasting relationship just hit the jackpot. In these times life is not very good alone, but it is worse with the wrong one. Give this a shot I believe it will change your life for the good. Remember send me your comments and thank you for listening see you tomorrow

Good Afternoon,

It is almost that time! Our contest starts on March 1^st, and this is our next contestant introduction. I am pleased to introduce Daniele Brouilette. Mother of two, and two fulltime jobs. A normal day, for Daniele starts at 5:30 AM. Kids up, gather up out the door just in time to make it to school and job number one. Through a day kids transferred from one place to another in time to make it to job number 2. Meals come late in the evening high calorie and too close to rest time. It is just another day in America, and very familiar with many of us. Slimstuff is proud to be sponsoring this contest of lifestyle change, Daniele is the perfect example of  Americans who can really use diet supplements to help maintain the right kind of digestive processing under a stress filled schedule.

Starting on the 1^st of March Daniele, Jim and soon to meet Beth, will embark on using dietary supplements, minor exercise and dietary programs fit to their schedules and lifestyles. With a minimum change to their current schedules we will watch them go thru small incremental changes leading them to a slow but effective weight control program. This will in turn lead them to more energy, which will lead them to more schedule effectiveness, and the ability to carry out some small changes to include the more regimented exercise, and eventually more quality time. Fast lose programs have proven to be delays only that lead back to large gains later. Slimstuff emphasizes the importance of taking the right weight off slowly and consistently. This is a proven way of keeping the weight off, and leading you to a more energized lifestyle that will include the type of quality time for activities that promote healthier lives.

I can not ask our followers enough to please forward your comments to me here at tom@ispreadyourmessage.com we will answer your questions and forward your support for these brave people that are willing to bare there biggest personal obstacles in front of everyone. Understand your support will help and encourage them to reach there healthy goals. More importantly all of us may, without our knowledge lead someone else to a life saving decision of taking back their health and controlling it.

Thanks for your support

This is Tom @ ispreadyourmessage.com 

It is almost that time! Our contest starts on March 1^st, and this is our next contestant introduction. I am pleased to introduce Daniele Brouilette. Mother of two, and two fulltime jobs. A normal day, for Daniele starts at 5:30 AM. Kids up, gather up out the door just in time to make it to school and job number one. Through a day kids transferred from one place to another in time to make it to job number 2. Meals come late in the evening high calorie and too close to rest time. It is just another day in America, and very familiar with many of us. Slimstuff is proud to be sponsoring this contest of lifestyle change, Daniele is the perfect example of  Americans who can really use diet supplements to help maintain the right kind of digestive processing under a stress filled schedule.

Starting on the 1^st of March Daniele, Jim and soon to meet Beth, will embark on using dietary supplements, minor exercise and dietary programs fit to their schedules and lifestyles. With a minimum change to their current schedules we will watch them go thru small incremental changes leading them to a slow but effective weight control program. This will in turn lead them to more energy, which will lead them to more schedule effectiveness, and the ability to carry out some small changes to include the more regimented exercise, and eventually more quality time. Fast lose programs have proven to be delays only that lead back to large gains later. Slimstuff emphasizes the importance of taking the right weight off slowly and consistently. This is a proven way of keeping the weight off, and leading you to a more energized lifestyle that will include the type of quality time for activities that promote healthier lives.

I can not ask our followers enough to please forward your comments to me here at tom@ispreadyourmessage.com we will answer your questions and forward your support for these brave people that are willing to bare there biggest personal obstacles in front of everyone. Understand your support will help and encourage them to reach there healthy goals. More importantly all of us may, without our knowledge lead someone else to a life saving decision of taking back their health and controlling it.

Thanks for your support

This is Tom @ ispreadyourmessage.com

New clients to visit this week

Beef O’Brady’s of New Smyrna @ hwy 44.

Visiting and filming Who’s Hot in Orlando group dinner and party Tuesday Evening in Lake Mary, I will report back who and what is hot in Orlando i promise.

Slimstuff.com  contestant interviews this week, It will be an informal introduction to the people participating in the contest. Their before the new me interview. Will be going over how you will be able to watch heir progress and interact with the contestants. This will be fun but for a very good cause getting people to work into a healthier lifestyle, so support the contestants by a show of emails and best wishes after you meet them this week.

I have some new completed Portraits that I will be sharing with everyone and a way to win a Free portrait painting by none other then ME!! look for that contest announcement by end f the week on an open day.

We also have some online savings from our San Marco merchants to pass on and some cost saving tips.

last chance this week to use your New Smyrna Golf Club coupons so do not forget to print and turn in to golf course.

Daytona Bike week 2010 is almost upon us It will be an improvement from last years numbers so the experts say so we are gearing up. We have set up some tour time of Daytona during bike week sponsored by none other then Hooters on 17/92 or Internationl Speedway for outsiders lol.

Also going to visit the late and gentle Rossmeyer Harley Davidson of Ormand Beach the worlds largest harley dealership. as “The Boss”  Bruce Springsteen,would say “So strap your hands on my engines”.  There is a whole generation out there that actually does not need me to say who “The Boss” is but, …  the newbies… It is what it is.

So, C you on the flip side of this week bye !!

Hi, again this is Tom @ ispreadyourmessage.com introducing you today to one of our three contestants participating in the “Average American Weight loss program.”

As we have mentioned before our three heroes’ will be participating in a lifestyle Diet supplement program provided by Slimstuff.com for the next 90 days. Starting on March 1^st. each contestant will be taking one of Slimstuff.com’s dietary supplements specifically designed for what best fits their lifestyle commitments. They will also be exercising 5 hours a week in a training program designed to fit in their busy lives          We all want to lose weight, eat better and change bad habits that cause us to be health risks. So our contestants are just like each one of you. They taxi children around. They skip breakfast; they buy food that is quick and easy for a family on the go. They already work 8-10 hours a day and then try to spend time with their family. Yes the normal no time American lifestyle. So we are out to show that with a little commitment and small changes and our supplements, you can achieve a new and healthier you.

What better way then to take three average Americans and show you on a weekly basis how using our supplements will change their lives and hopefully motivate many of you out there to do the same.

Slimstuff.com Contestant number 1

Let’s meet Jim Stimson 39 year of age, two children and twenty years of marriage. He owns his own business and spends an average 12 hour a day working it.  He is 5’feet and 11 inches weighing 235 lbs. He is about 40 pounds over weight and three inches too much in a waist line that should be a 32”. With the type of meal skipping and then eating heavy meals in the middle of the day and large meals late in the evening when he gets home leads us to get Jim started on Carb Blocker supplement. He will working to committing to an exercise program of one hour three times a week in various forms, biking running and weight training. Then we will have a few dietary suggestions for his family that can be achieved without any interruption and still solve the time issues of feeding the two boys. So with a little help from his dynamic wife who provides all the family meals while also running her real estate business, we should see some healthy results from Jim over the next 90 days. Here is the most important help you can do for Jim, send in your suggestions and support as he goes thru this publicly for after all the benefit of many. So we encourage you to send in that support thru tom@ispreadyourmessage.com we will post those comments and your encouragement could mean them succeeding or failing to achieve their goals. Because after all together as a community we can all find a better healthier America!

WAKE UP AMERCIA !!!!!!

This is Tom, from I spread your message.com. Dropping a line before heading out to San Marco in the heart of Jacksonville. I was only able to touch on a few of the finer things about San Marco in Wednesday’s blog. So today we are making a day trip out of it. I will have the opportunity to get a real guided tour by Long time resident and member of the Histroic Council George Foote.  So stay tuned for this afternoon’s post!

Good Evening Boys & Girls Ladies and Gentlemen

It was the kind of day you can really enjoy. Cool and crisp in the morning but all Florida sunshine to bask in between the breezes. With just a nip of what the rest of the country might be feeling on this February morning.  No hard winter here in San Marco, the village within the city. As you may remember we set off this morning heading from our central Florida coastal town straight north for a easy one hour drive to downtown Jacksonville area and a tour of Gallery Framery. There are you set now because I am trying to express that every now and then you have to take a drive miss a phone call and visit a non theme park area of our great state to get it. We have the blessing’s of a Jimmy Buffet sort of attitude here in this state and if all you ever see are the beaches and the Theme parks you are missing out on the best kept secret in Florida, Sunshine, beauty and a touch of easy yester year life.

            After dropping off the I95 run straight into 1950 Florida known as San Marco. Yes, you can see the sky scrapers of Prudential and Blue Cross and know that Jacksonville contains headquarters of some 100 something fortune 500 companies within its county lines. However in San Marco you are greeted by an old Norman Rockwell village right out of the 1950’s. Tiny town square, confusing small traffic lanes, which is why it is better to just park and walk, can not be in a hurry here. Several first edition books can be found in the Town square bookstore, on old fashioned sidewalk Italian restaurant, and a 50 seat 1950’s one screen town theatre for the “Picture Show”. But it has some of your modern chain sandwich shops and of course Starbucks has weaseled their way into the painting on the river side of town square. For you preppies that may have withdrawals if your cell phones don’t get a signal do not enter San Marco square. It is not for you, but if you can appreciate a good dose of walking your childhood streets from a different era when the world was simple, do not hesitate call in sick and run to San Marco.

            In amongst this hidden paradise are several family owned and operated village shops. One in particular to this writer is the Gallery Framery. Owned and operated by Son Ryan Buckley and Master Framer Father Jim Buckley. Jim established these business decades ago in this beautiful Americana village, and Son Ryan is carrying on centuries of tradition by following in his fathers craft. It is a beautiful mix of beautiful art gallery and master frame shop. The craftsmen displaying others who are equally skilled in their crafts sharing display space in a perfect unison and worth the walk thru. I literally could not help myself I spent hours looking at some of the artists original or limited editions on display in the Gallery. While at the same time, however subtle the fine craft workmanship of Jim and Ryan are for your view in the fine pieces hanging there. As an artist it is easy to see why other artists trust Ryan and his father to handle their professional wares. You see any piece, whether it is an original oil painting or your child’s first set of shoes are treated as if they are going to be preserved by the Smithsonian itself, while in the hands of these trustworthy artists in their own right.

They have a massive custom mill display that is easy to view while not detracting from the overall fine art gallery feel. Ryan points out that they are part of this community, and the importance of fair and honest dealings. He goes on to explain that it is their practice to tell you how to value your custom frame work to fit the piece. Meaning, in plain language just because you are saving it for posterity does not mean you have to spend a fortune to do so.  Honest people doing honest work wow what does that remind you of… oh yeah a simpler time.

            I have to say they have supplied a couple of generous offers to our readership. I can only return their generosity by telling you I have more to say and more to show you.   I am adding the Video today but I have coupons and special original piece prices to pass on to you that I will do tomorrow. Take an afternoon take a Saturday but do not miss the opportunity to Visit San Marco and The Buckley’s @ The Gallery Framery.

More to come I promise, and watch for the San Marco extra on Thursday. Any excuse visiting again how could I turn it down!!!

tom@ispreadyourmessage.com

Good Morning,

   I hope everyone has recovered from an 11 hour Daytona 500, and what seemed like the longest Valentines Day in history. Lol  I do hope everyone got more then they deserved for Valentines, which leads me into our next visit. I am going to tourGallery Framery in San Marco historic district in the heart of Jacksonville. If you are not familiar with the San Marco area that in itself is worth a Saturday drive and visit. Once you are there I can assure you, that you will enjoy a visit to Ryan (son) and Jim (father) Buckley’s Beautiful Art Gallery and Custom framing shop. While I am up there, we will get to view the original art pieces they have in their common gallery. Both local and nationally recognized artists are on constant display at the Gallery Framery . They also have some of the best frame mill displays from the best companies in the framing industry. A lot of specialty goes into the look and feel of Gallery Framery and it will be both beautiful and beneficial for us to visit them.

  After all most of us have either priceless memorabilia or prints, or even original art, and photographs that need the special handling and preserving of an expert such as Gallery Framery .  Rest assured to have been established for the last 25+ years they have proven to be the most trustworthy in handling your precious items. They will create a display and frame that compliments the real value of your keepsakes or art.

I do not want to forget this is also a scouting trip of my own interests to make sure I know my way around when I go up later this quarter to see and upcoming show they have planned up there with Margena Burnett Renowned time piece landscape artist that has a unique knack for setting you up to see and feel a simpler time in our country through her images. Her show will be opening on March 25^th with an opening show evening and speaking by her from 6-9 pm.

March 25th 6-9pm 

Margena Burnett “Southern Landscapes” At Gallery Framery

  Ok so “enuff said” I am heading out to meet with Ryan and Jim Buckley and I promise to give you a good tour via video and get some discounts for our followers!! Till Later

Tom@ispreadyoumessage.com

  What a game what a come back for a city and region. I was lucky enough to spend allot of time in the Bataon Rouge area just before Katrina. I built a Student housing property in my other life, there.  I can  tell you this; those people know how to turn darkness into sunshine. They just do not get flustered, and move at their pace no matter what happens in this world. The people of that area always impressed me as “no panic” people. They loved life and there place in it. I congratulate the New Orleans Saints, and my Good Friend Author Anne Rice I put a real shout out to she has always been the most outspoken person on the specialness of the New Orleans people, I believe this comeback really verifies what she has always said about the people of Louisiana.

  Today I am heading to Jacksonville, Florida. We have several new sponsors in the area, and I am excited to go meet them and get a feel of there contribution to making this state a better place for all of us. I hope you will join us this week and discover more about the good people of Florida. Please contact me ASAP if any one else is interested in signing on to the weight loss contest starting Next Monday, almost through with the slections but I will still look at candidates this week through Thursday. Please have a special day and go help some one you do not even know make a difference in someones life this week.